Self-esteem building comes when we don’t use masks to cover feelings

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Masked.As we head toward Thanksgiving, the remnants of Halloween remind me that when we get together with family and friends, sometimes we wear masks in an effort to make other people think we are someone we are not. We wear our masks in hopes people will give us “treats” in the way of praise and affirmation.

We wear our mask to work, smiling to hiding the strain of the fight we had last night with our partner. We wear a confident mask as we use our credit card, hoping it won’t be rejected. And every mask we put on makes us feel less certain of ourselves, makes us feel more and more like a fraud. (more…)


Low self-esteem is the same thing as being a negative thinker.

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Have you ever had a friend who was so negative you didn’t want to be around him? On a sunny day he would say, “Yes, but it’s going to rain later.” After a good movie, “The amount of money actors are paid makes me sick.”

Low self-esteem is the same thing as being a negative thinker. All you focus on are the things you can’t do or should have done better. If you put yourself down like this all the time, you won’t even want to be around yourself! To build self-esteem, focus on the things at which you have been successful, no matter how small. God did not put you on earth to hate yourself. (more…)


How to help low self esteem, especially in children

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I get many, many inquiries about how to help low self esteem, especially in children. People are afraid they have caused low self-esteem in their children and want to know what are the best self-esteem building activities. The best self-esteem building activity besides spending time with your child WITHOUT OTHER DISTRACTIONS–most notably, constant cell phone calls, is to do activities in which your child can be successful.

If they are building a sand castle, let THEM build it. You may help minimally, such as demonstrating, but then sit back and let them do it. Tell them they built a good sand castle, (more…)


Family is like a Poker Hand

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We can choose our friends but not being able to choose our family is like a poker hand. Some of us have a full house, some of us have crap and some don’t get any cards at all. The cards we are dealt, tho’, are not a measure of how good a poker player we are. It’s what we do with the cards that count. It’s the same with our family–it absolutely influences our life but it is not a measure of who we are and we do not have to let our family decide our fate.


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