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Most people dread January, February and March because they seem like dreary winter months where nothing is going on. I happen to love these three months because they provide a breather for us all after the madness of Thanksgiving and Christmas, before Easter and summer. They are the months where we can catch up on projects and stop running so much. Our regular lives are chaotic enough without all the extras of holiday planning, guests and extra meals.
Some people, though, don’t know what to do when they aren’t running around. They like being busy because they don’t have to think about problems and issues that are bothering them.
I will tell you a secret: The more you don’t deal with your issues, the more power they have over you. They become more inscrutable because they are vague and seem to float away from us when we “remember” we have a problem. Sit down with yourself, write down what you think the problem is. Then write down what you would tell a friend if she or he had the same problem. Just the act of writing it down helps because you have finally taken control. Obviously some problems are more easily solvable than others but taking a step is a start–a good start to freeing up your Spring.
It doesn’t happen to me very often, but this week I had an encounter with an pretty nasty person. In fact, this person was so nasty that it has caused me to think hard about people who go out of their way to cause others difficulties.
We live in a city on the East coast and like many other cities, have had a lot of snow. Most of us have to park on the street and we have learned to squeeze three cars in spaces most people would only try to park two. We know that if we are careful, everyone usually gets a place to park. The snow has taken our parking places down by about 1/3 and those of us who get home late have to park blocks and blocks away. Not fun on a cold night, especially if you are toting groceries.
This person I mentioned took up two parking places for five days (no one knew whose car it was) even though someone had left a note on the car. § Read the rest of this entry…
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Fluzzard
For me, it’s not only been the Blizzard of 2010 but the flu. There is a difference. Had it just been the blizzard I would have been looking busy but really just wasting time. The flu, however, kept me stuck on the sofa so I ended up watching old movies– wonderful, funny, tragical and magical movies.
Coming back to the real world put me in touch with the fact that we are so eager to move on to the next new thing that we give short shrift to anything not so new. A movie comes out and within two weeks, it’s on DVD. Good songs are only good for a couple of weeks. No wonder people feel insecure about themselves. Any success is immediately overshadowed by the implication that if it’s not the latest thing, it’s not as good. We don’t take time to savor, to take our place in the universe—or if we do, it’s only for 15 minutes. Here are some movies that have much to say and that we need to hear…again and again.
Network—the writing is phenomenal and so is the plot. § Read the rest of this entry…
Image via Wikipedia
The holidays are a very dangerous time for self-esteem. The last thing we need to do is measure self-worth based on gifts. There are hundreds of opportunities now to turn away from activities that involve comparing ourselves to others. You only need to look within yourself to know if you are doing the right things. Don’t allow someone else to set your priorities for you. If you hate to do outside lights, get a spotlight and devote yourself to visiting the animal shelter if that’s what you want. It’s better to have a happy house than a tension-filled one that wears 10,000 lights. This season, more than all the others, should encourage you to value yourself because you are already valued…there is already a reason you’re here.
I am lucky enough to be on a train right now. It’s dark but that’s okay. I still love the swaying, rhythmic movement that is beginning to make me sleepy.
There are two phone conversations I’m trying not to listen to–difficult because I can hear every word. These people think they are having a private chat but the rest of us know that the girl in row five is incensed with her boyfriend and the man a few seats up has, for reasons we can only guess, found it necessary to state over and over that he is a very busy person.
Something has been lost with the advent of this media-mad world. § Read the rest of this entry…
As we head toward Thanksgiving, the remnants of Halloween remind me that when we get together with family and friends, sometimes we wear masks in an effort to make other people think we are someone we are not. We wear our masks in hopes people will give us “treats” in the way of praise and affirmation.
We wear our mask to work, smiling to hiding the strain of the fight we had last night with our partner. We wear a confident mask as we use our credit card, hoping it won’t be rejected. And every mask we put on makes us feel less certain of ourselves, makes us feel more and more like a fraud. § Read the rest of this entry…
Today, I would like for you to take a little test. I would like you to jot down when you are feeling good and what you did to make yourself feel good. I would also like you to jot down when you are feeling not-so-good and why. I am talking about mood, not the H1N1 flu. If at the end of the day you have 4 or more times you feel not-so-good, then I want you to ask yourself, does feeling positive about myself depend on other people? Are you waiting for someone else to reward you—and if they don’t, is that when you feel bad? If so, I have some terrific news for you. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!!!! § Read the rest of this entry…
Have you ever had a friend who was so negative you didn’t want to be around him? On a sunny day he would say, “Yes, but it’s going to rain later.” After a good movie, “The amount of money actors are paid makes me sick.”
Low self-esteem is the same thing as being a negative thinker. All you focus on are the things you can’t do or should have done better. If you put yourself down like this all the time, you won’t even want to be around yourself! To build self-esteem, focus on the things at which you have been successful, no matter how small. God did not put you on earth to hate yourself. § Read the rest of this entry…
I get many, many inquiries about how to help low self esteem, especially in children. People are afraid they have caused low self-esteem in their children and want to know what are the best self-esteem building activities. The best self-esteem building activity besides spending time with your child WITHOUT OTHER DISTRACTIONS–most notably, constant cell phone calls, is to do activities in which your child can be successful.
If they are building a sand castle, let THEM build it. You may help minimally, such as demonstrating, but then sit back and let them do it. Tell them they built a good sand castle, § Read the rest of this entry…
How do you start unleashing your creativity when you are overwhelmed with responsibilities and time limitations? You have to break your routine. Eat chili for breakfast. Buy a luxurious bath gel instead of soap. Go home a new way. Take a picture of something you like and learn how to put it on your computer screen. Let the dishes sit and go for a walk. Part your hair on the other side. Sit in a different place in church. Buy shoes if you only wear sandals. Buy sandals if you only wear shoes. Turn the TV off. Buy a sketch pad. Play with clay. Skip a meeting. Go barefoot. Eat a bog of popcorn then skip dinner. This is your life and your only life. If you could see it from beginning to end you would see how much time you wasted on things that didn’t matter. Start now.
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