Denial is Not Your Friend!

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Denial is Not Your Friend!

When something is wrong in my life, I feel like I can’t be at peace until it is resolved in some way. Sometimes it means talking to the person that is involved, sometimes it means stepping back from the situation and giving myself some time to digest it. Ignoring it, however, is denial which only causes anxiety and makes the situation even worse. We deny what we feel because we are afraid that resolving the conflict will be so awful that we just live with it. When you think this way, you are selling yourself short. There is always more than one way to resolve conflict–the answer is usually not disastrous. Beginning a dialogue is the first step in resolving relationship issues, deepening your relationship skills and creating a more satisfying life. So take a deep breath and take a positive step…because how you relate always matters.


Telling the Truth about the little things…

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Telling the Truth about the little things…

Telling the truth about little things…going back in to pay for the soda they forgot to charge you for…’fessing up to leaving the door unlocked…admitting you didn’t call back because you forgot…telling the truth about little things…means you can be trusted with the big things.


Little things.

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Little things.

Little things. Like putting the neighbor’s paper on their porch. Posting a positive comment on facebook. Emptying the dishwasher when it’s not your turn. Life may turn on the big events but it is sustained or damaged by the small ones. You may not realize it but you can completely change a person’s day by a simple act of kindness. Doing something thoughtful is like sprinkling fairy dust on someone’s life. It is magical and gives you wings.


Three Best Tips to Enjoy Thanksgiving

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Three Best Tips to Enjoy Thanksgiving

Three Best Tips to Enjoy Thanksgiving

1. Rise Above It. Be pleasant but detached when you find yourself with someone you dislike. If something is upsetting, don’t engage. Nod distractedly and “suddenly” remember someone you need to see. Don’t allow your reaction to spoil your day.
2. Don’t compare. Everyone has their best mask on during the holidays–don’t compare your failures to their masks. No one is problem free–no matter what they say. You aren’t in competition with anyone but yourself to live the gift of your life well.
3. Savor the moment. The meaning of this day is what is important. Holiday rituals are about Loves. Look around at who’s part of your life, the history you have with them, your freedom, the things you take for granted. If you are alone, you can enjoy a day off, fill in for someone so they can be home, appreciate your life. Thanksgiving is a state of mind. http://blog.terrydiebold.com/


Yes, You, Too, Can Be Like Indiana Jones

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Yes, You, Too, Can Be Like Indiana Jones. If there is anyone who handles stress well, it is Indiana Jones. Just like Jones, recognizing stress in the moment is the best time to de-stress. We say resignedly, “What a crappy day,”  as though we’re helpless against negative circumstances. Unlike Jones, if there is nothing you can do in the moment, deal with it as best as you can but remind yourself that one incident does not a bad day make. React positively as soon as you are aware of it. Take a breath. Call a friend. Pray. Ask yourself if it will matter a hundred years from now. Laugh if you can. Luckily for you, it’s probably not life and death. Let the pressure remind you that it is possible to de-stress because ultimately you can choose…and you can choose wisely. http://blog.terrydiebold.com/


Relationship Tip of the Week

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Relationship Tip of the Week

Is there somebody in your life who is a pain? Somebody who asks nosy questions, makes inappropriate comments, talks behind your back or just plain stirs up trouble? Your self-esteem determines how you handle these people. If you try to convince them they’re wrong, or ignorant, you play into their hands and prove that you are unsure of yourself.That’s why siblings have such awful fights–they’re both children!  Ignoring trouble-makers is like not returning the ball–no game. They know they are not getting to you because you aren’t hitting the ball back in their court. Oh, they might get another ball but if the result is the same each time, they lose their incentive. The game’s just not fun anymore.


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