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My guess is we are all reflecting right now on how lucky we are compared to the people of Haiti. It is intriguing that before the earthquake people were bemoaning the fact that the economy is bad and that they’ve had to cut back, they’re not eating out as much, not going to the movies. These complaints feel embarrassing and ridiculous as we hear of a survivor who has lost 5 children and see endless lines of people waiting in the blistering sun….for one bottle of water. This is about more than counting your blessings—this is about recognizing that life is how you see it. Every day you have a choice of complaining or rejoicing. My hope for you is that you absorb this profoundly important concept…and that you wake every day and say, “Here We Go—another day to experience miracles.”
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The holidays are a very dangerous time for self-esteem. The last thing we need to do is measure self-worth based on gifts. There are hundreds of opportunities now to turn away from activities that involve comparing ourselves to others. You only need to look within yourself to know if you are doing the right things. Don’t allow someone else to set your priorities for you. If you hate to do outside lights, get a spotlight and devote yourself to visiting the animal shelter if that’s what you want. It’s better to have a happy house than a tension-filled one that wears 10,000 lights. This season, more than all the others, should encourage you to value yourself because you are already valued…there is already a reason you’re here.
I am lucky enough to be on a train right now. It’s dark but that’s okay. I still love the swaying, rhythmic movement that is beginning to make me sleepy.
There are two phone conversations I’m trying not to listen to–difficult because I can hear every word. These people think they are having a private chat but the rest of us know that the girl in row five is incensed with her boyfriend and the man a few seats up has, for reasons we can only guess, found it necessary to state over and over that he is a very busy person.
Something has been lost with the advent of this media-mad world. § Read the rest of this entry…
As we head toward Thanksgiving, the remnants of Halloween remind me that when we get together with family and friends, sometimes we wear masks in an effort to make other people think we are someone we are not. We wear our masks in hopes people will give us “treats” in the way of praise and affirmation.
We wear our mask to work, smiling to hiding the strain of the fight we had last night with our partner. We wear a confident mask as we use our credit card, hoping it won’t be rejected. And every mask we put on makes us feel less certain of ourselves, makes us feel more and more like a fraud. § Read the rest of this entry…
Today, I would like for you to take a little test. I would like you to jot down when you are feeling good and what you did to make yourself feel good. I would also like you to jot down when you are feeling not-so-good and why. I am talking about mood, not the H1N1 flu. If at the end of the day you have 4 or more times you feel not-so-good, then I want you to ask yourself, does feeling positive about myself depend on other people? Are you waiting for someone else to reward you—and if they don’t, is that when you feel bad? If so, I have some terrific news for you. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!!!! § Read the rest of this entry…
Have you ever had a friend who was so negative you didn’t want to be around him? On a sunny day he would say, “Yes, but it’s going to rain later.” After a good movie, “The amount of money actors are paid makes me sick.”
Low self-esteem is the same thing as being a negative thinker. All you focus on are the things you can’t do or should have done better. If you put yourself down like this all the time, you won’t even want to be around yourself! To build self-esteem, focus on the things at which you have been successful, no matter how small. God did not put you on earth to hate yourself. § Read the rest of this entry…
I think women have a sense they could or should be happier–that their life, ‘though adequate by previous decades’ expectations, is not the wonderful, fabulous life they have been promised. Its like getting to the top of the mountain and after taking the in the view, saying, “Okay–now what?” Climb down and get back to work–whatever work is. The bar keeps moving up for women, down for men. Men are being told to relax, quit chasing the corporate gold ring, get in touch with themselves, enjoy their children and grandchildren. Women are given the message that unless they are deeply happy within themselves, they’ve missed something. § Read the rest of this entry…
Dewey
The past week I have been recovering from knee replacement surgery. It has been a humbling process. I have been dependent on other people…nurses, aides and especially my husband, to do very basic things for me. Most women I know feel uncomfortable when they are waited on because we are used to being the ones who do things for others. These weeks of recovery, I am reminding myself that I have taken care of others for years and that I can receive from others without feeling guilty. But even if I hadn’t cared for a single other person, I still deserve help because I am a person who needs it.
§ Read the rest of this entry…
How do you get your emotional “place” back on track? You have already begun if you recognize that you don’t feel grounded and comfortable. Ask yourself—is there anywhere in my life where I am not authentic? Do I agree when I really disagree? Do I pretend to be someone’s friend when I’m not? Am I pushing away truths I don’t want to hear? Do I deny myself the same pleasure I would urge someone else to embrace? You are who you are—and sometimes you need work. But before that comes being really, really, really truthful with yourself and the life you are living.
Your emotional “place” is where you feel grounded and comfortable. It is the place where your soul lives. It is a source of intuition and inspiration. It is the terror you felt when you were five and got lost. It is the pride you felt when you made your first dollar. It is jealousy and anger, selflessness and selfishness. It is mature and at the same time childish. It is the truest part of you, the part you know to be the essence of who you are. When you ignore this part of yourself, you are out of emotional “place.”
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My guess is we are all reflecting right now on how lucky we are compared to the people of Haiti. It is intriguing that before the earthquake people were bemoaning the fact that the economy is bad and that they’ve had to cut back, they’re not eating out as much, not going to the movies. These complaints feel embarrassing and ridiculous as we hear of a survivor who has lost 5 children and see endless lines of people waiting in the blistering sun….for one bottle of water. This is about more than counting your blessings—this is about recognizing that life is how you see it. Every day you have a choice of complaining or rejoicing. My hope for you is that you absorb this profoundly important concept…and that you wake every day and say, “Here We Go—another day to experience miracles.”
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