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How important is feeling good? It is extremely important! One of the things I notice about people I meet is how much they take their bodies for granted–and a good percentage of time feeling good is blocked by what is going on in our bodies. I am talking to YOU!!! You will have a hard time feeling good if: you don’t get enough sleep, you eat too much sugar, you do not absorb nutrients because of a poor digestive system, you are constipated or have diarrhea often, you drink soda, worry, are angry, yell a lot, swallow your anger, take medication, eat processed foods, smoke, don’t exercise, don’t take a good multivitamin, drink too much alcohol, have medical conditions you ignore (high blood pressure, diabetes, low thyroid) have food allergies (dairy, wheat), live with mold, have a toxic relationship or toxic working conditions.
ALL of these affect your health by lowering your resistance to disease, increasing your own body’s attacks on itself (autoimmune disorders) and causing dangerously low mineral and vitamin deficiencies. Yikes–you may say, I engage in a lot of these behaviors! Even if you did all of these things, you can start with just one. Pick one with the understanding that every little bit you do can make a difference in your happiness. Just the psychological effects of knowing you are tackling something in your life that is harmful to you makes a difference. Feeling good is a natural thing–but just like a cold can block our ability to breathe well, our behaviors can block our ability to feel happy. Give happiness a fighting chance–start a new habit today!

If you have ever thought you were too shy to have friends, think about a TV show or a book you’ve loved. You fall in love with the characters and you can’t wait for the next episode or chapter. Then inevitably, the story has to end. No, you don’t want it to end…you want it to go on. These people are real to you. When the story ends, they end too. It’s like losing a real friend. Well, here’s the good news–you can have real friends! You can follow their story as they follow yours. You can talk to them and they will talk back.
How do you find friends? You become a friend. Maybe you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone but just Ask. Ask people about themselves, what they do, what they like, what music they listen to, their family, their pet, their job where they were born, have they every bunji jumped on and on. Once someone begins talking they will think you are awesome. Don’t think you have nothing to say, either. Your story is fascinating because everyone’s story is different. Thinking you have nothing to say means you don’t think you have any significance. Believe me, you do because no one else’s story is like yours….and that makes you interesting.
Do you find yourself in a hurry all the time?

I don’t mean you’re late for your best friend’s wedding–and you’re in the wedding party. I mean hurrying…hurrying to get to a meeting, hurrying to fax something, hurrying your dog to “go,” telling your child to “hurry up,” feeling rushed, feeling like there’s not enough time, doing laundry at 11:00 p.m., taking your coffee, bagel, briefcase and the trash out with you in the morning–with the bagel between your teeth? Why are we so rushed? Because we have forgotten how to live. We have forgotten we are meaningful just by being. We have forgotten how pleasant it is to stroll with a relaxed body instead of straining forward like runners at the finish line. We try to fit too much stuff in a given period of time. True, I don’t want to wear my underwear two days in a row, but I have made a conscious decision to not hurry on the way to the washing machine. I will not rush myself, my dog, or my husband. I urge you to take the pledge. Let me hear from you if you do.
My husband takes The New York Times just so he can do the crossword. I was looking through their fashion magazine last night and found myself feeling incredibly sad. I used to feel out of it when I realized I wasn’t even close to being in fashion but last night I felt sorry for all those people dressed in the “latest.” They looked ridiculous! If I, or anyone else I know, wore any of the clothes featured, we’d have kids and dogs following us down the street laughing and sniffing. It feels good to know what I like, what looks good and not have to pitch clothes because they’re “out” this year. I can’t imagine spending money on $400 jeans or a $2500 purse. I don’t need those things to be loved or liked. Fashion is fine but it can’t make you something you’re not. Dressing well helps us feel good but dressing to impress takes us down that treacherous and destructive path of comparing ourselves to others. Being who you are is the secret to loving yourself and loving your life.
I think women have a sense they could or should be happier–that their life, ‘though adequate by previous decades’ expectations, is not the wonderful, fabulous life they have been promised. Its like getting to the top of the mountain and after taking the in the view, saying, “Okay–now what?” Climb down and get back to work–whatever work is. The bar keeps moving up for women, down for men. Men are being told to relax, quit chasing the corporate gold ring, get in touch with themselves, enjoy their children and grandchildren. Women are given the message that unless they are deeply happy within themselves, they’ve missed something. § Read the rest of this entry…

Dewey
The past week I have been recovering from knee replacement surgery. It has been a humbling process. I have been dependent on other people…nurses, aides and especially my husband, to do very basic things for me. Most women I know feel uncomfortable when they are waited on because we are used to being the ones who do things for others. These weeks of recovery, I am reminding myself that I have taken care of others for years and that I can receive from others without feeling guilty. But even if I hadn’t cared for a single other person, I still deserve help because I am a person who needs it.
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